“Petra, I really can’t stand him anymore. He had that 20-minute monologue again. He calls it feedback. That’s not feedback.. He’s just saying how he would do it, and that I should do it that way too. Only that will make him happy. If I ever leave the company, it will be because of this. I’ve had enough,” said my client.

Google feedback. You will find millions of articles, books and training programs. We really have plenty of theories at our disposal. Despite that, most managers do not feel confident and comfortable giving, receiving and asking for feedback. The solution is not more feedback. People don’t want a one-way assessment focused on what they did wrong.

They want conversations that inspire new ideas and open their eyes to new possibilities of how they can move forward.

From my experience with hundreds of managers in Europe and Canada, I have found that these 3 things need to be mastered in this order (don’t skip a step) in order for both parties to feel feedback is effective and empathetic.

Here are the 3 “I’s” of feedback.

  1. I ASK for feedback (on myself).
  2. I LISTEN to feedback (on myself).
  3. I OFFER (questions) to facilitate feedback.

80% of the necessary feedback will be solved by the 3 “I’s”.

Want to master the art of the 3 feedback “I’s”?

Sign up for my Leader as a Coach program.
Or, would you like to practice this individually? Take a look at 1:1 coaching.